Broadcasters’ Gamut: Albert to Bender

     Recently the networks asked if I would rate their play-by-play broadcasters, because I’m a regular guy. They said they would pay me $25. I said I would do it for free. 

     I compared the major broadcasters (excluding those who have been doing network play-by-play for less than two years). Announcers were weighed in a variety of categories; for instance a broadcaster could score up to 20 points for play-by-play accuracy, 10 points for sense of humor and five points for returning my phone calls. The maximum point total possible was 100; the minimum point total possible was Gary Bender’s. 

The Best and The Brightest 

  • Marv Albert (NBC): If you have to pick one broadcaster to do one game in any sport, Albert’s the choice…. Perhaps the purest, most error-free play-by-play voice, equally adept at TV or radio…. Always immaculately prepared…. Nice hair. Score: 96 points. 
  • Al Michaels (ABC): Forever stuffed into an overcrowded booth at ABC, he still manages to let a broadcast breathe freely…. Smooth and knowledgable, with an underrated sense of humor…. A Vin Scully disciple, so Michaels is a slave to the game’s storyline. Score: 96. 
  • Pat Summerall (CBS): The best ever of the ex-jocks on play-by-play…. In the Ray Scott mold, he is wonderfully sparse with his words. Score: 92. 

The Better and The Brighter 

  • Bob Costas (NBC): The best Budcaster in the business…. Steady, unflappable…. Enjoys witty repartee, although he can overdo the light touch…. A good sense of history. Score: 88. 
  • Vin Scully (NBC): Better on radio than TV—where he often talks too much—and better at baseball than any other sport. But he adds a literate, civilized air to any broadcast in the tradition of his mentor, Red Barber…. No one builds a storyline better. Score: 87. 
  • Brent Musburger (CBS): A.k.a. Brent The Elder…. Turns many viewers off, yet he has developed into an understated play-by-play craftsman with a knack for sensing turning points…. Has a tendency toward acting self-important, but hey, when you’re that well-paid, you’re going to feel good about yourself. Score: 85. 
  • Dick Enberg (NBC): NBC’s top play-by-play voice is a bit overrated…. He does his homework and gets excited in all the right places, but he can be downright cliché-ridden and platitude-plagued. Still, a pleasing voice and countenance overcome his vanilla ice cream approach. Score: 83. 
  • Verne Lundquist (CBS): Versatile and likable, Lundquist often is as good as the better-known heavyweights at each network…. When he’s off, Lundquist tends to shout during exciting NFL games—especially at RFK Stadium. Score: 83. 

The Others 

  • Jim Nantz (CBS): A.k.a. Brent The Younger…. Learned much earlier than Brent The Elder to be economical with his words. He is amazingly and admirably low-key…. With some seasoning, he’s bound for a marquee role. Score: 80. 
  • Dick Stockton (CBS): As the No. 1 NBA voice, he’s in a little over his head. (We want Marv.) Stockton actually is better to listen to on the NFL…. Has a tendency to get lost in statistics and lacks the style and grace of other No. 1 announcers…. Still, always workmanlike in approach and well-prepared. Score: 76. 
  • Keith Jackson (ABC): Whoaaaa, Nellie, there’s no more folksy, friendly college football announcer in the land!! I do believe he’s the only man who should ever call a Huskers or Sooners game. Fummmmmbbbbbble!!! Score: 76. 
  • James Brown (CBS): A testament to the formula: intelligence + hard work = success…. Needs to improve smoothness of his call…. Could be No. 1 NBA voice one day. Score: 73. 
  • Tim Ryan (CBS): Reasonably polished and reasonably versatile…. Can get caught up in hype—keep him away from those closed-circuit boxing extravaganzas—but always gives a creditable day’s work. Score: 72. 
  • Jack Whitaker (ABC): Once an intriguing essayist, now sort of lost in trying to lead us through ABC’s golfing faire…. Perhaps this is more the fault of ABC, which can’t decide if Whitaker should give us the facts or offer us his opinion. And, unfortunately, Whitaker can’t decide either. Score: 70. 
  • Don Criqui (NBC): He has The Voice, he has The Delivery, he has The Credentials. He just doesn’t have It…. An often shrill voice who goes into overdrive early and can’t shift gears. Score: 66. 
  • Tom Hammond (NBC): Sort of NBC’s Verne Lundquist—he’ll handle just about any event, if you really need him to, and he’ll do it just well enough so that viewers won’t consider legal action. Score: 63. 

The Giffer 

  • Frank Gifford (ABC): He has The Name, he has The Look, he has The Wife. He just doesn’t have The Talent…. The only broadcasts in which he doesn’t make multiple play-by-play errors are the ones in which he’s not doing play-by-play. Score: 46. 

The Back of The Bus 

  • Charlie Jones (NBC): Long ago in a galaxy far, far away, Jones was taught his special brand of announcing…. A perpetual semiscreamer, with a patented Columbia School of Broadcasting cadence and delivery. Score: 41. 
  • Jay Randolph (NBC): Like Jones, a longtime NBC survivor from the old school (a school, incidentally, which simply cannot be located)…. In style, a throwback to a bygone era (an era, incidentally, that may never have existed). Score: 40 ½. 
  • Chris Schenkel (ABC): Once the network’s No. 1 college football voice, he is now only its No. 1 bowling voice. Score: 40. 
  • Tim Brant (CBS): An ex-jock…. Among his shortcomings: No touch. No pace. No rhythm. No perspective. Score: 39 ½. 
  • Gary Bender (ABC): Has Voice, Will Bellow…. If Armageddon needs an announcer, Bender’s got the job. Score: 39. 

                                              Around The Dial 

Berman on Berman: Chris Berman, 34, with ESPN since its birth 10 years ago, said: “When it’s all over—and I’d like to do this for 20 more years—I’ve put myself in a position where one day some people might say, ‘Yeah, he was the best.’ I’m in the position where I do the job, which [CBS’s Brent Musburger and NBC’s Bob Costas] do, and they’re great…. I honestly think I can do this for 20 more years—unless my face falls off. Well, that’s why they have makeup.” 

Cable Deal: Home Team Sports has renewed its programming agreement with SportsChannel America, adding 50 regular season and 37 Stanley Cup playoff games to its NHL schedule. HTS also will televise at least 38 Washington Capitals games, starting with tonight’s season opener against the Philadelphia Flyers. 

‘NFL Memorex’: Last year NBC played tricks during the Summer Olympics, often keeping the viewer unsure if something were live or taped. The tradition continued last Sunday on “NFL Live.” Example: Host Bob Costas said, “Doug Flutie joins us now from Rich Stadium in Buffalo.” The interview was on tape. 

Channel Hopping: Washington’s James Brown and Ken Stabler are the announcers on CBS’s Redskins-Cardinals coverage Sunday at RFK Stadium…. HTS will televise the new Senior Professional Baseball Association, starting with the Nov. 6 game between Gold Coast (managed by Earl Weaver) and West Palm Beach…. Bob Costas filled in for Vin Scully (laryngitis) in last night’s NBC coverage of the Cubs-Giants game; Scully should be available Saturday…. Jon Miller and Joe Morgan were confirmed yesterday by ESPN as the cable network’s No. 1 announcing team on its Sunday night major league baseball coverage beginning next season. 

— Norman Chad 

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